Purpose: Help
students understand how to ask for what they need and gain control of their
emotions. When they view things through a clear lens, they can ask for what
they need without sounding angry, blaming or sad.
Time: 20 minutes
Steps:
1.
Today we are going to learn how to ask for what
we need.
Examples: Ask a teacher for homework missed. Ask mom for permission to
do something on the weekend. Ask a friend about __________.
2.
Read from the PowerPoint
a.
Have students read the first slide with bullet points about asking for
what you need.
b.
We will use the acronym LENS to remember the
steps to asking for what you need.
i. LOOK the person in the eye. Eye contact helps to engage the person and opens
communication. Once you have eye contact you know the person is focused and
listening.
ii. The
next step is to EXPLAIN the situation. Giving detailed information is important
in communication because it helps the other person understand the entire
situation. Their decision about your need may change based on the details.
iii. Ask
for what you NEED. It is important to know exactly what you need before
starting the conversation Think ahead of time.
iv. SMILE.
Smiling is important to create a friendly and positive environment which may
affect the person’s response.
c.
Using these four steps - LENS - we should begin to
feel confident to to ask for what we need.
3.
Explain that we all have different lenses in
which we view the world. These lens change the way that we view the world, a
situation, a problem or a relationship. It will also affect how we ask for what
we need.
4.
There are four different lenses that I would
like to talk about today: Angry lens, blaming or denying lens, sad lens and
clear lens.
a.
Angry Lens: this lens make you think, “How can
they do that to me? It’s not fair!”
b.
Blaming or denying lens: Here you are thinking,
"It wasn’t my fault! He made me do it!”
c.
Sad lens: This lens makes you feel like you
aren’t good enough. It makes you think, “I’m not good at anything. I can’t do
anything right!”
d.
Clear lens: This is the lens that saves us. This
lens helps us keep an open mind. It says, “I’m a good person, I am human.
Sometimes we make mistakes, but it’s okay!
5.
Discuss that when you are asking others for
things, it’s best to use a clear lens. Others are more receptive when you are
not angry, blaming, or sad. Explain that using a clear lens is being assertive
(not passive or aggressive).
6.
Finally, now that we have learned how to use our
LENS and keep a CLEAR LENS we need to remember to fix the color of the lens to clear when
asking for what we need.
Lesson Adapted by
Draper Park Middle School
